Mindfulness Practice

If life came with a remote, most of us would be pressing the “mute” button on certain people, skipping past the awkward bits, and turning the volume way down on Monday mornings. Sadly, no such remote exists.  Instead, we’re left with a lot of things we wish we could control: what people think of us, the weather on braai (BBQ) day, or that one colleague who just won’t stop oversharing. Spoiler alert: we can’t. I saw this simple diagram the other day:  Two circles: 🔘 The outer one says: “Things we CANNOT control.” 🔘 The inner one? “Things we CAN control.” And honestly? It was the gentle slap of truth I didn’t know I needed. We can't control what others say or do, how they feel, or what happened in 2015 that still randomly pops into our minds at 2 a.m. But we can control our reactions. Our words. Our priorities. Our bedtime (even if Netflix disagrees). And our self-talk, because, let’s be honest, that inner critic is often just a drama queen with a loudspeaker. When ...

  Understanding the Impact of Emotional Abuse We often associate the word “abuse” with what we can see — bruises, scars, broken bones. Things that show. Things that can be explained. But what about the wounds no one sees? What about the damage caused by words that cut deeper than a slap ever could? By silence that screams louder than any raised voice? This is emotional abuse. And for so many of us, it goes unnoticed — even by the person living through it. “It’s not that bad…” — Except it is Emotional abuse is sneaky. It doesn’t always shout. Sometimes, it whispers just loud enough to make you question your own voice. It might look like: Constant criticism disguised as “jokes” Being blamed for everything that goes wrong Feeling like you’re walking on eggshells Being ignored or given the silent treatment Being made to feel like you’re “too sensitive” or “overreacting” And the worst part? It builds slowly. So slowly that by the time you realise something’s wrong, you’...

There are days when I want to put the world on mute. Not pause. Not rewind. Just mute. Like, can everyone just lower their voices, slow down the pace, and stop breathing so loudly for five minutes? You know the days I’m talking about—when the traffic feels personal, your phone won’t stop buzzing, the kettle boils too aggressively, and even your thoughts seem to have a megaphone. It’s like the universe forgot to take its ADHD meds and now I’m stuck in the chaos with no escape plan. So, what do you do when everything is too much? Too noisy, too busy, too everything ? Here’s what I’ve learned—sometimes the hard way. 1. Acknowledge the Overwhelm (Don’t gaslight yourself) First things first: you're not being dramatic. You're not weak. You're not “too sensitive.” You’re human . And this modern world isn’t really built for soft, sensitive, deep-feeling people—especially the ones trying to heal, grow, keep promises to themselves, and not scream at the cashier who forgot the...

In a world that’s louder, faster, and more demanding than ever, Generation Z — those born roughly between 1997 and 2012 — are leading a quiet revolution. While previous generations may have turned to hustle culture or numbed out with distractions, Gen Z is pausing, breathing, and tuning inward. And whether you’re 15 or 55, there’s a lot we can learn from their approach to mindfulness. 1. They’re Breaking the Stigma Around Mental Health For Gen Z, talking about anxiety, burnout, or therapy is not taboo — it’s normal. They’re rejecting the idea that struggling makes you weak. Instead, they’re open about their mental health journeys, often sharing them online in a raw, authentic way. Mindfulness is a natural extension of that honesty: it’s about meeting yourself where you are, without judgement. Helpful Resources: Therapy apps and resources Mental health advocacy in Gen Z 2. Mindfulness Is Their Protest Gen Z grew up online. They know better than anyone the toll constant notifi...

Some days, I wake up and I’m already in battle. Not with the world. Not with people. With my own thoughts. The ones that tell me I’m not enough. That I should have done more. That I’ve messed it all up—again. That everyone’s watching. Judging. Waiting for me to fail. It’s exhausting, isn’t it? To be your own biggest critic. To carry a war inside your head while trying to smile through the day. To look calm on the outside while your mind spins stories that feel so real, they make your stomach churn. I Used to Believe Every Thought If my mind whispered, You’re a disappointment , I’d nod in agreement. If it shouted, You’re not worthy of love , I’d retreat, make myself small, apologise for existing. I thought these thoughts were me . That they defined me. But I was wrong. Not every thought deserves my attention. Not every voice in my head speaks the truth. Sometimes, my thoughts are just echoes of old wounds—unhealed parts of me that resurface in moments of stress or fa...

I used to be highly functional—a woman who could do it all, juggle countless responsibilities, and forget nothing. My mind was sharp, my memory impeccable. I thrived on organisation, on efficiency, on being able to manage everything life threw at me. And the man I loved? He was the same. My soul mate. We understood each other’s drive and passion, our shared hunger for achievement, our ability to handle it all. Then everything changed when he burnt out. It was sudden and devastating. He couldn’t work anymore. The fire that once drove him dimmed, and then extinguished. I stood by him, unwavering. I fought for him, fought to keep him alive. I pulled blades from his hands, stopped him from slitting his wrists, did everything in my power to keep him safe. Even having him committed in the hopes that it would help, that it would give him a fighting chance. But it didn’t. In the end, he lost his battle. He took his own life. And with him, he took a part of me. Not just a huge chunk of my...

For as long as I can remember, I’ve wrestled with this deep, aching need to feel acknowledged. It’s not just about being noticed—it’s about feeling like I matter, like I’m enough. And honestly? This need has shaped so much of who I am. Even now, it’s something I fight with almost every single day. When I was younger, excelling at school became my way of standing out. Top marks, shiny trophies, and glowing feedback—that was my language. That was how I screamed, “Look at me! I’m here. I’m worthy!” And yes, in those fleeting moments, it felt good. But the high never lasted. Before I knew it, the emptiness was back, and I was already chasing the next award, the next moment of recognition. The Exhaustion of Proving Myself I won’t lie—chasing validation is exhausting. It’s like being on a treadmill that never, ever stops. You keep running, hoping that maybe this time, the applause will last. Maybe this time, someone’s words of praise will finally make you feel complete. But it never does. It...

Let’s talk about a new buzzword making waves: glimmers. It’s the softer, more optimistic cousin of triggers. You know, those things that set you off and send you straight to fight-or-flight mode? Glimmers, on the other hand, are all about the good vibes – those small, everyday moments that make you feel calm, safe, or just plain chuffed. What Are Glimmers, Exactly? The term was coined by Deb Dana, a clever clinician specialising in polyvagal theory (fancy science stuff about your nervous system). Glimmers are those fleeting moments of joy or connection – like the smell of a braai wafting through the air, the warmth of the sun on your skin, or even hearing your favourite song on the radio. They’re like mini pick-me-ups for your soul. The Science-y Bit While triggers send your nervous system into overdrive (hello, cortisol!), glimmers work the opposite way. They tap into your parasympathetic nervous system – the one that helps you chill out and feel lekker. When you notice glimmers, you’...

I’ve been sitting with this ache in my chest, trying to find the right words, but I don’t think there’s a perfect way to say this. So here it is: I’m sorry. I’m sorry for the way my insecurities sometimes take over and make me crave more attention than I should. For needing constant reassurance, even when I know it’s not fair to ask. It’s not because I don’t believe in my worth—it’s because, deep down, I’m still learning how to. I hate that my neediness can feel overwhelming, that it might make me seem selfish or too much. It’s something I’m painfully aware of, and it’s exhausting to carry. The fear of being forgotten or not being enough is something I’ve battled for as long as I can remember. I know these feelings don’t come from others but from inside me—old wounds and scars that I thought I’d moved past but still find myself carrying. They whisper lies, telling me that I have to do more, be more, demand more, or else I’ll be left behind. And sometimes, I let those whispers control m...

  When was the last time you allowed yourself to truly be vulnerable? Not the "oops, I forgot to mute myself on Zoom" kind of vulnerable, but the deep, soul-revealing type. The moment when you admit, either to yourself or someone else, that you don’t have everything perfectly together. Let’s face it: vulnerability has a bad reputation. We’re conditioned to see it as weakness. Society encourages us to "stay strong," "keep it together," and "never let them see you sweat." But here’s the truth—real strength lies not in pretending to be invincible, but in embracing your imperfections and recognising your inherent worth, even when life gets messy. The Myth of Perfection For many of us, perfection has long been presented as the ultimate goal. Whether it was achieving top marks in school, being the perfect friend or sibling, or following life’s script to the letter, the message was always clear: don’t make mistakes, and if you do, make sure no one find...

Happy New Year, everyone! It’s that time again—new year, fresh goals, and perhaps the odd existential crisis. Just me? No? Well, this year, instead of committing to the usual resolutions like eating healthier, exercising more, or finally tackling that stack of unread books, I’ve chosen something refreshingly simple, oddly liberating, and slightly cheeky: Let Them. Now, let’s be clear—this isn’t about passively surrendering to others or rolling over for anyone. Far from it. Instead, it’s a practice of stepping back from the exhausting urge to control what others do, say, or think. What Does "Let Them" Actually Mean? Imagine this: you’re in a meeting, mid-sentence, and someone interrupts, steals your idea, and then butchers it. Instead of letting frustration consume you, you think, “Let them. Let them make a fool of themselves.” Or, your perpetually flaky friend cancels plans at the last minute—again. Instead of resenting them, you shrug and think, “Let them flake. More time fo...

We’ve All Been There Moments of frustration, stress, or anger can leave us feeling on edge. While venting might seem like the easiest way to cope, reacting impulsively often leads to regret and strained relationships. So, how do you manage tension constructively? Here are 11 practical and healthy methods to help you stay calm and in control. 1. Tune In to Your Feelings The first step is self-awareness. Suppressing emotions can amplify stress. Pause to identify what you’re feeling—are you angry, anxious, or overwhelmed? By naming your emotions, you gain a sense of control and can address them with clarity. 2. Move Your Body Exercise is a proven stress-buster. Whether it’s a walk, yoga session, or quick household chores, physical activity releases tension and boosts endorphins. Even a short burst of movement can improve your mood significantly. 3. Breathe It Out Stress often disrupts breathing patterns, making them shallow. Restore calm with the 4-7-8 breathing technique: Inhale for 4 se...

Let’s talk about pain. No, not the stub-your-toe-on-the-sofa kind, but the deep, emotional, "life-has-sucker-punched-you" kind. The hard truth is, healing starts with accepting something most of us would rather avoid: you’ve got a hand in your own suffering. Stay with me, though—it’s not as bleak as it sounds. This isn’t about assigning blame or declaring fault. It’s about taking responsibility. Picture it less like pointing fingers and more like grabbing the wheel of your own life. Because if you’ve been hurt—whether by a dodgy relationship, past trauma, or life’s general knack for throwing curveballs—you might instinctively want to direct all the blame outwards. And yes, external factors do matter, but here’s the thing: waiting for someone else to fix things is like waiting for the bus in the middle of nowhere. It’s not coming. The Temptation of Victimhood Staying in victim mode can feel... oddly comforting, can’t it? There’s no need to make any big changes because, hey, it...

As the holiday season nears, streets glitter with lights, homes echo with carols, and an air of joy seems to permeate the world. Yet, for many, the phrase "Merry Christmas" holds a bittersweet undertone, as this season isn’t as joyful as it seems. The Pain of Loneliness For those mourning lost loved ones, Christmas often brings painful reminders of shared moments now out of reach. Decorating trees, unwrapping gifts, or enjoying holiday meals can amplify the sense of absence. Similarly, individuals separated from their families—whether by physical distance, estrangement, or personal reasons—feel the weight of isolation during a season centered on connection. Financial Struggles Amid Festive Expectations Christmas often equates to spending—lavish gifts, elaborate decorations, and indulgent feasts. For those facing financial hardships, this pressure to meet societal norms can lead to stress and feelings of inadequacy. The season’s commercial nature sometimes overshadows its true...

Introduction: Fire Your Inner Critic Today Let’s face it—everyone has that nagging inner voice critiquing their every move. From mispronouncing “charcuterie” to pairing socks with sandals (just once!), it’s time to put an end to this self-judgment. Here’s a guide to silencing that inner commentator and living unapologetically, quirks and all. 1. Recognise the Critic—and Laugh It Off Picture your inner critic as a grouchy neighbor constantly complaining. Is that who you want running your life? Definitely not! The next time that voice says, “You’re terrible at this,” respond with humour: “Maybe, but I’m having fun trying!” Humour disarms negativity and shifts your mindset. 2. Realise Nobody’s Watching as Closely as You Think Here’s a secret: most people are too focused on their own lives to notice your slip-ups. Trip on the sidewalk? Own it with a confident pose. Even Taylor Swift probably has her awkward moments (we all do). Remember, these small mistakes are insignificant in the bigger...

You are worthy of being fully seen, loved, and chosen for exactly who you are. In a world where so many relationships feel rushed or superficial, it can be hard to believe in your own worth. With endless distractions and options, you might even wonder if you’re truly deserving of someone’s full attention and commitment. But here’s the truth: you are. Your worth isn’t something you have to earn or prove. It’s not about being perfect or flawless. It’s about being human. You deserve to be shown up for simply because you exist, and it all starts with how you show up for yourself. What Worthiness Really Means Many of us grow up thinking we have to earn our worth—whether through success, looks, or being good enough for others. But real worthiness doesn’t depend on any of that. It’s unconditional. Ask yourself: Do I believe I’m enough, just as I am? Do I let people see the real me, even the messy parts? Do I choose to value myself, even when others don’t? These are tough questions, but they’r...

Practicing Gratitude with Mindfulness: The Fun, Feel-Good Way to Happiness Let’s face it: life moves fast, and most of us are just trying to keep up. Between deadlines, chores, and the occasional crisis (or maybe not so occasional), it’s easy to forget the little things—like the fact that your coffee this morning wasn’t burned or that your socks actually matched. That’s where gratitude and mindfulness come in. They’re like your brain’s reset button, helping you find happiness without having to move to a remote mountaintop. Ready to give it a shot? Let’s dive into how combining gratitude and mindfulness can turn your mood—and your life—around. Gratitude + Mindfulness = A Dream Team Gratitude is about appreciating what’s good in your life, from the big wins (like landing a dream job) to the tiny joys (like a perfectly ripe avocado). It’s about shifting your focus from “ what I don’t have ” to “ look at all this cool stuff I do have. ” Mindfulness is the art of being here, right now, an...

I recently read something that struck a deep, personal chord in me. In her powerful book I Will Not Be Silenced , journalist Karyn Maughan quotes her late friend, Eusebius McKaiser , who once said during a particularly difficult time: "People are not entitled to your trauma." Those words hit me like a lightning bolt—so simple, yet so profound. How often do we feel obligated to explain ourselves? To relive painful moments just to justify who we are or why we act the way we do? Whether it’s a friend, a stranger, or society at large, there’s a subtle expectation that we owe others a peek into our suffering—our story—on their terms. But we don’t. Your trauma is not a public property. It’s not something anyone is entitled to dissect, minimise, or judge. Sharing your pain is deeply personal. It’s your choice—when, how, and with whom. And sometimes, protecting your peace means keeping parts of your story to yourself. For me, McKaiser’s words stirred a kind of "motivated anger...

The Invisible Isolation: Lonely in a Crowd Loneliness has become the surprise guest no one invited to our hyper-connected world. You might be hanging out with friends, family, or colleagues, yet feel like you’re at a party where no one remembers your name. Yep, that’s "lonely in a crowd" for you—a feeling that’s less about headcount and more about heart-connections. Why Are We Lonely When We’re Not Alone? Loneliness isn’t about being alone (because hey, sometimes being alone is awesome). It’s the gap between the relationships you want and the ones you have. Even in a packed room, you might feel like an outsider looking in. Common culprits? Too much small talk, not enough soul talk. Hanging with people who just don’t get you. Social Media - scrolling through Insta-perfect lives can leave you feeling like you’re missing the memo. So What’s the Damage? Chronic loneliness isn’t just sad—it’s sneaky. It can mess with your stress levels, immune system, and even your self-esteem. Ba...

What I Would Tell My Childhood Self: A Letter Through Time Life is a winding journey, filled with lessons, growth, and countless moments that shape us. If I could sit down with my childhood self, I'd tell them what I now know — words of encouragement, lessons learned, and the wisdom that comes from navigating the ups and downs of life. Dear Younger Me, First and foremost, let me tell you something important: you are enough, just as you are. The world might make you feel like you need to be something different, smarter, braver, or louder. But trust me, your quiet strength and kind heart are your superpowers. Don’t trade them for anything. Embrace the Imperfections You’ll make mistakes, lots of them. There will be times you feel embarrassed, scared, or even like you’ve failed. That’s okay. Mistakes are not the end of the world; they’re stepping stones. They’ll teach you things no textbook ever could, so embrace them and know they’re part of becoming the person you’re meant to be. Be...