Mindfulness Practice

If life came with a remote, most of us would be pressing the “mute” button on certain people, skipping past the awkward bits, and turning the volume way down on Monday mornings. Sadly, no such remote exists.  Instead, we’re left with a lot of things we wish we could control: what people think of us, the weather on braai (BBQ) day, or that one colleague who just won’t stop oversharing. Spoiler alert: we can’t. I saw this simple diagram the other day:  Two circles: 🔘 The outer one says: “Things we CANNOT control.” 🔘 The inner one? “Things we CAN control.” And honestly? It was the gentle slap of truth I didn’t know I needed. We can't control what others say or do, how they feel, or what happened in 2015 that still randomly pops into our minds at 2 a.m. But we can control our reactions. Our words. Our priorities. Our bedtime (even if Netflix disagrees). And our self-talk, because, let’s be honest, that inner critic is often just a drama queen with a loudspeaker. When ...

I’ve got my square squad . The people who know me—really know me. They see my heart, they see my effort, they see the messy, raw, real me, and they hold space for it all. Their voices are the ones I trust, the ones I go to when the world gets loud. And yet, this week… someone outside that circle said something cruel. Something untrue. And it got to me. I found myself spiralling—defending, justifying, doubting. Then I caught myself trying to apply logic: “She’s not in your square squad. Her opinion doesn’t matter. Don’t let it in.” But here’s the hard truth: It still hurt. Because no matter how strong our boundaries are, or how clear we are on who matters and who doesn’t, we’re human. And words—especially unkind, false ones—can sting, even when we know the source is irrelevant. This is where the work lives. Not in pretending we’re untouchable. But in acknowledging the sting, sitting with it, and choosing not to let it define us. I reminded myself of three things today: Just b...

Some days, I wake up and I’m already in battle. Not with the world. Not with people. With my own thoughts. The ones that tell me I’m not enough. That I should have done more. That I’ve messed it all up—again. That everyone’s watching. Judging. Waiting for me to fail. It’s exhausting, isn’t it? To be your own biggest critic. To carry a war inside your head while trying to smile through the day. To look calm on the outside while your mind spins stories that feel so real, they make your stomach churn. I Used to Believe Every Thought If my mind whispered, You’re a disappointment , I’d nod in agreement. If it shouted, You’re not worthy of love , I’d retreat, make myself small, apologise for existing. I thought these thoughts were me . That they defined me. But I was wrong. Not every thought deserves my attention. Not every voice in my head speaks the truth. Sometimes, my thoughts are just echoes of old wounds—unhealed parts of me that resurface in moments of stress or fa...

  How often do we break promises to ourselves while keeping every commitment we make to others? We say we’ll wake up early, exercise, eat better, or finally start that passion project—yet when life gets busy, those personal commitments are the first to go. I know this because I’ve been struggling with it myself. Lately, I’ve been realising how much it matters. Every time I let myself down, I chip away at my self-trust. I send the message that my own needs and goals don’t matter as much as other people’s. And that’s a pattern I want to change. Why It Matters When we follow through on promises to ourselves—whether small, like drinking more water, or big, like setting boundaries—we prove that we are reliable and worthy of respect. It’s like building a relationship. If someone constantly let you down, you’d stop trusting them, right? The same applies to the relationship I have with myself. Right now, I’m working on rebuilding that trust, one step at a time. The Struggle to Follow T...

Healing is not a destination. It’s not a place you arrive at, where everything suddenly makes sense, and the past no longer aches. Healing is a journey—a slow, winding path with detours, setbacks, and moments of clarity that feel like sunlight breaking through heavy clouds. For so long, I thought healing meant erasing the past. If I could just forget, if I could just move on, then maybe I would be whole. But I’ve come to realise that wholeness isn’t about forgetting—it’s about integrating. It’s about taking the broken pieces and making something beautiful out of them. Some days, the weight of old wounds still presses against my ribs. Some nights, echoes of past pain whisper in the quiet. But I am learning to sit with it, to hold myself gently, to remind myself that I am more than my scars. Healing is in the small moments—the way I breathe deeper now, the way I listen to my body instead of punishing it, the way I choose love over fear, again and again. I am not the same person I was...

We all have big dreams, right? Maybe you want to start a business, write a book, run a marathon, or just wake up before your alarm for once. But here’s the thing—dreams don’t magically come true just because we really, really want them to. (Trust me, I’ve tried.) Nope. They need action. And action needs habits. And habits? Well… habits need discipline. Ugh. Why Motivation is a Liar We love motivation—it’s exciting, energising, and makes us feel like we can conquer the world! But motivation is also flaky. One day it’s got us meal-prepping like a health guru, and the next, we’re eating biscuits straight out of the packet while binge-watching Netflix. The real game-changer? Discipline. The unsexy, often annoying ability to do the thing even when we don’t feel like it. Want to write a book? That means writing when you’d rather scroll social media. Want to get fit? That means working out when your couch whispers sweet nothings to you. Want to save money? That means resisting ye...

I have a morning routine that, on paper, sounds like a productivity dream. I wake up, drink a glass of water, make myself a cup of coffee, do a quick 15-minute workout, journal for a bit, and then dive into lesson planning or writing while my mind is still fresh—all before 6 a.m. when I officially start my day. Sounds great, right? A structured, disciplined start to the morning, setting the tone for the rest of the day. But here’s the reality of how today went: I woke up and had my glass of water—so far, so good. But then, I felt too sore and tired to work out. I made my coffee but added milk (at least I skipped the sugar, so small victories?). I’m supposed to be fasting until 8 a.m., which means no milk or sugar, but today, I just couldn’t bring myself to care. Then came journaling. I opened my notebook, pen in hand, ready to reflect, plan, or pour out my thoughts. And all I could think was: Blah. I’m tired. Not exactly the profound insight I was hoping for. So, I jotted down some...

Have you ever noticed how quick we are to label things? We humans love a good category. Whether it’s “black with white stripes” or “white with black stripes,” we slap a label on it and call it a day. But then along comes this zebra in the poem “Zebra Question,” and suddenly, it’s us under the microscope. The kid innocently asks, “Are you black with white stripes, or white with black stripes?” And the zebra, probably bored out of its stripey little mind, fires back with a series of deeply philosophical riddles: “Are you good with bad habits, or bad with good habits? Are you neat with some sloppy ways, or sloppy with some neat ways?” And just like that, the tables turn. The label-maker becomes the labelled. Labels, Labels Everywhere Let’s face it, we love to label people. You’re either the “early bird” or the “night owl,” the “messy creative” or the “type-A perfectionist.” But life—and people—aren’t that simple. I mean, who hasn’t had a neat freak moment while simultaneously leaving thei...

For as long as I can remember, I’ve wrestled with this deep, aching need to feel acknowledged. It’s not just about being noticed—it’s about feeling like I matter, like I’m enough. And honestly? This need has shaped so much of who I am. Even now, it’s something I fight with almost every single day. When I was younger, excelling at school became my way of standing out. Top marks, shiny trophies, and glowing feedback—that was my language. That was how I screamed, “Look at me! I’m here. I’m worthy!” And yes, in those fleeting moments, it felt good. But the high never lasted. Before I knew it, the emptiness was back, and I was already chasing the next award, the next moment of recognition. The Exhaustion of Proving Myself I won’t lie—chasing validation is exhausting. It’s like being on a treadmill that never, ever stops. You keep running, hoping that maybe this time, the applause will last. Maybe this time, someone’s words of praise will finally make you feel complete. But it never does. It...

Let’s be real—imposter syndrome is a tricky one. It sneaks in when you’re trying to do something amazing and whispers in your ear, “You don’t belong here,” or worse, “You’re going to mess it up.” Sound familiar? It’s something I’ve had to deal with many times, and for the longest time, I let it get the better of me. But over the years, I’ve found a few ways to calm my mind and remind myself that I am enough, just as I am. If this resonates with you, keep reading. Let’s chat about what’s helped me silence that self-doubt. Step 1: Acknowledge the Noise The first thing I’ve learnt is that trying to fight imposter syndrome is like arguing with a toddler—it only makes things worse. Instead, I’ve started acknowledging those thoughts for what they are: just thoughts. They don’t have any power unless I give them power. When that inner critic pipes up, I literally say to myself, “Okay, I hear you, but you’re not in charge.” It sounds silly, I know, but it works. Step 2: Reconnect with My Why Wh...

  When was the last time you allowed yourself to truly be vulnerable? Not the "oops, I forgot to mute myself on Zoom" kind of vulnerable, but the deep, soul-revealing type. The moment when you admit, either to yourself or someone else, that you don’t have everything perfectly together. Let’s face it: vulnerability has a bad reputation. We’re conditioned to see it as weakness. Society encourages us to "stay strong," "keep it together," and "never let them see you sweat." But here’s the truth—real strength lies not in pretending to be invincible, but in embracing your imperfections and recognising your inherent worth, even when life gets messy. The Myth of Perfection For many of us, perfection has long been presented as the ultimate goal. Whether it was achieving top marks in school, being the perfect friend or sibling, or following life’s script to the letter, the message was always clear: don’t make mistakes, and if you do, make sure no one find...

Happy New Year, everyone! It’s that time again—new year, fresh goals, and perhaps the odd existential crisis. Just me? No? Well, this year, instead of committing to the usual resolutions like eating healthier, exercising more, or finally tackling that stack of unread books, I’ve chosen something refreshingly simple, oddly liberating, and slightly cheeky: Let Them. Now, let’s be clear—this isn’t about passively surrendering to others or rolling over for anyone. Far from it. Instead, it’s a practice of stepping back from the exhausting urge to control what others do, say, or think. What Does "Let Them" Actually Mean? Imagine this: you’re in a meeting, mid-sentence, and someone interrupts, steals your idea, and then butchers it. Instead of letting frustration consume you, you think, “Let them. Let them make a fool of themselves.” Or, your perpetually flaky friend cancels plans at the last minute—again. Instead of resenting them, you shrug and think, “Let them flake. More time fo...

We’ve All Been There Moments of frustration, stress, or anger can leave us feeling on edge. While venting might seem like the easiest way to cope, reacting impulsively often leads to regret and strained relationships. So, how do you manage tension constructively? Here are 11 practical and healthy methods to help you stay calm and in control. 1. Tune In to Your Feelings The first step is self-awareness. Suppressing emotions can amplify stress. Pause to identify what you’re feeling—are you angry, anxious, or overwhelmed? By naming your emotions, you gain a sense of control and can address them with clarity. 2. Move Your Body Exercise is a proven stress-buster. Whether it’s a walk, yoga session, or quick household chores, physical activity releases tension and boosts endorphins. Even a short burst of movement can improve your mood significantly. 3. Breathe It Out Stress often disrupts breathing patterns, making them shallow. Restore calm with the 4-7-8 breathing technique: Inhale for 4 se...

Over the last few days, I’ve been thinking about what I want to achieve in 2025. Be more mindful. Eat healthier. Start intermittent fasting. Write more. Read more. Study towards becoming a mental wellness coach. Be a better teacher. Feel more comfortable in my own skin while working on my fitness. But here’s the thing: I’m waiting for Wednesday to start. When I eat a chocolate, I tell myself, “Better eat this now, because from Wednesday, there’s nothing.” Deep down, I know this isn’t the right mindset. So what is? Why Waiting for ‘The Right Time’ Doesn’t Work Like many of us, I’ve fallen into the trap of believing that change needs a grand starting point—a new year, a new week, or even a specific day like your birthday. It feels tidy, doesn’t it? But this “all or nothing” approach often sets us up for failure. The problem with waiting is that it creates a scarcity mindset: the idea that life will suddenly become restrictive or joyless once you begin. Worse still, it suggests that perfe...

Why Do My Best Intentions Turn Into Coffee and Scrolling? You know the feeling—you go to bed full of ambition, picturing yourself waking up bright and early, sipping water like a health guru, easing into a yoga flow, and journaling with purpose. But when the alarm goes off, reality sets in. Instead of transforming into the morning superstar you envisioned, you grab a cup of coffee and start scrolling through Instagram. What’s going on here? The truth is, this morning battle is all too familiar, and it’s not just about willpower—it’s rooted in psychology and habit. Let’s unpack why coffee and scrolling take over and explore how you can align your intentions with your actions. The Disconnect Between Intentions and Reality At night, we’re reflective and motivated. It’s easy to dream of being a better version of ourselves tomorrow. Psychologists refer to this as “positive projection”—imagining your future self smashing goals gives you a feel-good boost in the present. But when the morning ...

Let’s talk about pain. No, not the stub-your-toe-on-the-sofa kind, but the deep, emotional, "life-has-sucker-punched-you" kind. The hard truth is, healing starts with accepting something most of us would rather avoid: you’ve got a hand in your own suffering. Stay with me, though—it’s not as bleak as it sounds. This isn’t about assigning blame or declaring fault. It’s about taking responsibility. Picture it less like pointing fingers and more like grabbing the wheel of your own life. Because if you’ve been hurt—whether by a dodgy relationship, past trauma, or life’s general knack for throwing curveballs—you might instinctively want to direct all the blame outwards. And yes, external factors do matter, but here’s the thing: waiting for someone else to fix things is like waiting for the bus in the middle of nowhere. It’s not coming. The Temptation of Victimhood Staying in victim mode can feel... oddly comforting, can’t it? There’s no need to make any big changes because, hey, it...

How to Turn Self-Doubt into Self-Growth Introduction Self-doubt is something everyone experiences from time to time. It often creeps in just as we’re about to face new challenges or step outside our comfort zones. It can feel like a hurdle, preventing us from reaching our full potential. Here’s the reassuring part: self-doubt doesn’t have to hold you back. In fact, when approached thoughtfully, it can be a catalyst for growth. By learning to understand and reframe it, you can transform moments of hesitation into opportunities to adapt, learn, and flourish. Let’s explore some practical ways to turn self-doubt into self-improvement. Recognising Self-Doubt as a Natural Process The first step is to realise that self-doubt is a completely normal reaction to unfamiliar situations. It’s not a sign of weakness or failure—it’s an indicator that you’re pushing yourself to grow. Feeling unsure is simply part of the process. Rather than resisting these feelings, take a moment to acknowledge them. ...

Introduction: Fire Your Inner Critic Today Let’s face it—everyone has that nagging inner voice critiquing their every move. From mispronouncing “charcuterie” to pairing socks with sandals (just once!), it’s time to put an end to this self-judgment. Here’s a guide to silencing that inner commentator and living unapologetically, quirks and all. 1. Recognise the Critic—and Laugh It Off Picture your inner critic as a grouchy neighbor constantly complaining. Is that who you want running your life? Definitely not! The next time that voice says, “You’re terrible at this,” respond with humour: “Maybe, but I’m having fun trying!” Humour disarms negativity and shifts your mindset. 2. Realise Nobody’s Watching as Closely as You Think Here’s a secret: most people are too focused on their own lives to notice your slip-ups. Trip on the sidewalk? Own it with a confident pose. Even Taylor Swift probably has her awkward moments (we all do). Remember, these small mistakes are insignificant in the bigger...