Mindfulness Practice

If life came with a remote, most of us would be pressing the “mute” button on certain people, skipping past the awkward bits, and turning the volume way down on Monday mornings. Sadly, no such remote exists.  Instead, we’re left with a lot of things we wish we could control: what people think of us, the weather on braai (BBQ) day, or that one colleague who just won’t stop oversharing. Spoiler alert: we can’t. I saw this simple diagram the other day:  Two circles: 🔘 The outer one says: “Things we CANNOT control.” 🔘 The inner one? “Things we CAN control.” And honestly? It was the gentle slap of truth I didn’t know I needed. We can't control what others say or do, how they feel, or what happened in 2015 that still randomly pops into our minds at 2 a.m. But we can control our reactions. Our words. Our priorities. Our bedtime (even if Netflix disagrees). And our self-talk, because, let’s be honest, that inner critic is often just a drama queen with a loudspeaker. When ...

We grow up with stories of rescue. Fairytales. Cartoons. Romantic comedies. There’s always someone who swoops in just in time. A prince, a parent, a friend, a miracle. Someone who sees your pain and says, “I’ve got you. Let me take it from here.” I think I internalised that without even realising it. That someone or something would save me. That eventually, the chaos would stop. The shame would lift. The noise would quiet. That I’d wake up and somehow everything would be okay, because something outside of me would make it so. But here’s the hard truth that’s been crashing down on me lately: No one is coming to save me. And wow… I’m exhausted. Not just tired— exhausted . Bone-deep. Soul-deep. From carrying too much for too long. From pretending. From performing. From constantly trying to hold it all together while feeling like I’m falling apart on the inside. And if I’m completely honest, I don’t even like who I became somewhere along the way. I lost parts of myself I used to b...

I’ve got my square squad . The people who know me—really know me. They see my heart, they see my effort, they see the messy, raw, real me, and they hold space for it all. Their voices are the ones I trust, the ones I go to when the world gets loud. And yet, this week… someone outside that circle said something cruel. Something untrue. And it got to me. I found myself spiralling—defending, justifying, doubting. Then I caught myself trying to apply logic: “She’s not in your square squad. Her opinion doesn’t matter. Don’t let it in.” But here’s the hard truth: It still hurt. Because no matter how strong our boundaries are, or how clear we are on who matters and who doesn’t, we’re human. And words—especially unkind, false ones—can sting, even when we know the source is irrelevant. This is where the work lives. Not in pretending we’re untouchable. But in acknowledging the sting, sitting with it, and choosing not to let it define us. I reminded myself of three things today: Just b...

  Understanding the Impact of Emotional Abuse We often associate the word “abuse” with what we can see — bruises, scars, broken bones. Things that show. Things that can be explained. But what about the wounds no one sees? What about the damage caused by words that cut deeper than a slap ever could? By silence that screams louder than any raised voice? This is emotional abuse. And for so many of us, it goes unnoticed — even by the person living through it. “It’s not that bad…” — Except it is Emotional abuse is sneaky. It doesn’t always shout. Sometimes, it whispers just loud enough to make you question your own voice. It might look like: Constant criticism disguised as “jokes” Being blamed for everything that goes wrong Feeling like you’re walking on eggshells Being ignored or given the silent treatment Being made to feel like you’re “too sensitive” or “overreacting” And the worst part? It builds slowly. So slowly that by the time you realise something’s wrong, you’...

There are days when I want to put the world on mute. Not pause. Not rewind. Just mute. Like, can everyone just lower their voices, slow down the pace, and stop breathing so loudly for five minutes? You know the days I’m talking about—when the traffic feels personal, your phone won’t stop buzzing, the kettle boils too aggressively, and even your thoughts seem to have a megaphone. It’s like the universe forgot to take its ADHD meds and now I’m stuck in the chaos with no escape plan. So, what do you do when everything is too much? Too noisy, too busy, too everything ? Here’s what I’ve learned—sometimes the hard way. 1. Acknowledge the Overwhelm (Don’t gaslight yourself) First things first: you're not being dramatic. You're not weak. You're not “too sensitive.” You’re human . And this modern world isn’t really built for soft, sensitive, deep-feeling people—especially the ones trying to heal, grow, keep promises to themselves, and not scream at the cashier who forgot the...

In a world that’s louder, faster, and more demanding than ever, Generation Z — those born roughly between 1997 and 2012 — are leading a quiet revolution. While previous generations may have turned to hustle culture or numbed out with distractions, Gen Z is pausing, breathing, and tuning inward. And whether you’re 15 or 55, there’s a lot we can learn from their approach to mindfulness. 1. They’re Breaking the Stigma Around Mental Health For Gen Z, talking about anxiety, burnout, or therapy is not taboo — it’s normal. They’re rejecting the idea that struggling makes you weak. Instead, they’re open about their mental health journeys, often sharing them online in a raw, authentic way. Mindfulness is a natural extension of that honesty: it’s about meeting yourself where you are, without judgement. Helpful Resources: Therapy apps and resources Mental health advocacy in Gen Z 2. Mindfulness Is Their Protest Gen Z grew up online. They know better than anyone the toll constant notifi...

Some days, I wake up and I’m already in battle. Not with the world. Not with people. With my own thoughts. The ones that tell me I’m not enough. That I should have done more. That I’ve messed it all up—again. That everyone’s watching. Judging. Waiting for me to fail. It’s exhausting, isn’t it? To be your own biggest critic. To carry a war inside your head while trying to smile through the day. To look calm on the outside while your mind spins stories that feel so real, they make your stomach churn. I Used to Believe Every Thought If my mind whispered, You’re a disappointment , I’d nod in agreement. If it shouted, You’re not worthy of love , I’d retreat, make myself small, apologise for existing. I thought these thoughts were me . That they defined me. But I was wrong. Not every thought deserves my attention. Not every voice in my head speaks the truth. Sometimes, my thoughts are just echoes of old wounds—unhealed parts of me that resurface in moments of stress or fa...

  How often do we break promises to ourselves while keeping every commitment we make to others? We say we’ll wake up early, exercise, eat better, or finally start that passion project—yet when life gets busy, those personal commitments are the first to go. I know this because I’ve been struggling with it myself. Lately, I’ve been realising how much it matters. Every time I let myself down, I chip away at my self-trust. I send the message that my own needs and goals don’t matter as much as other people’s. And that’s a pattern I want to change. Why It Matters When we follow through on promises to ourselves—whether small, like drinking more water, or big, like setting boundaries—we prove that we are reliable and worthy of respect. It’s like building a relationship. If someone constantly let you down, you’d stop trusting them, right? The same applies to the relationship I have with myself. Right now, I’m working on rebuilding that trust, one step at a time. The Struggle to Follow T...

Nature has an incredible way of teaching us about resilience, strength, and renewal. The sun rises after every night, never questioning whether it should. The waves crash against the shore, retreat, and return again with unwavering certainty. Trees lose their leaves in autumn, stand bare in winter, yet bloom again in spring. These natural cycles remind us that we, too, can trust in our ability to rise, adapt, and keep going—even in the face of hardship. Embracing Life’s Ebb and Flow Much like the ocean’s tides, life moves in waves. There are moments of calm and clarity, and there are storms that shake us to our core. It’s easy to feel defeated in difficult times, but nature teaches us that nothing stays the same forever. Just as the storm eventually passes, so too will the struggles we face. When we understand that challenges are part of the natural rhythm of life, we begin to approach them differently. Instead of fearing the dark moments, we can learn to accept them as a necessary par...

Healing is not a destination. It’s not a place you arrive at, where everything suddenly makes sense, and the past no longer aches. Healing is a journey—a slow, winding path with detours, setbacks, and moments of clarity that feel like sunlight breaking through heavy clouds. For so long, I thought healing meant erasing the past. If I could just forget, if I could just move on, then maybe I would be whole. But I’ve come to realise that wholeness isn’t about forgetting—it’s about integrating. It’s about taking the broken pieces and making something beautiful out of them. Some days, the weight of old wounds still presses against my ribs. Some nights, echoes of past pain whisper in the quiet. But I am learning to sit with it, to hold myself gently, to remind myself that I am more than my scars. Healing is in the small moments—the way I breathe deeper now, the way I listen to my body instead of punishing it, the way I choose love over fear, again and again. I am not the same person I was...

I have a morning routine that, on paper, sounds like a productivity dream. I wake up, drink a glass of water, make myself a cup of coffee, do a quick 15-minute workout, journal for a bit, and then dive into lesson planning or writing while my mind is still fresh—all before 6 a.m. when I officially start my day. Sounds great, right? A structured, disciplined start to the morning, setting the tone for the rest of the day. But here’s the reality of how today went: I woke up and had my glass of water—so far, so good. But then, I felt too sore and tired to work out. I made my coffee but added milk (at least I skipped the sugar, so small victories?). I’m supposed to be fasting until 8 a.m., which means no milk or sugar, but today, I just couldn’t bring myself to care. Then came journaling. I opened my notebook, pen in hand, ready to reflect, plan, or pour out my thoughts. And all I could think was: Blah. I’m tired. Not exactly the profound insight I was hoping for. So, I jotted down some...

Let’s talk about a new buzzword making waves: glimmers. It’s the softer, more optimistic cousin of triggers. You know, those things that set you off and send you straight to fight-or-flight mode? Glimmers, on the other hand, are all about the good vibes – those small, everyday moments that make you feel calm, safe, or just plain chuffed. What Are Glimmers, Exactly? The term was coined by Deb Dana, a clever clinician specialising in polyvagal theory (fancy science stuff about your nervous system). Glimmers are those fleeting moments of joy or connection – like the smell of a braai wafting through the air, the warmth of the sun on your skin, or even hearing your favourite song on the radio. They’re like mini pick-me-ups for your soul. The Science-y Bit While triggers send your nervous system into overdrive (hello, cortisol!), glimmers work the opposite way. They tap into your parasympathetic nervous system – the one that helps you chill out and feel lekker. When you notice glimmers, you’...

Let’s be real—imposter syndrome is a tricky one. It sneaks in when you’re trying to do something amazing and whispers in your ear, “You don’t belong here,” or worse, “You’re going to mess it up.” Sound familiar? It’s something I’ve had to deal with many times, and for the longest time, I let it get the better of me. But over the years, I’ve found a few ways to calm my mind and remind myself that I am enough, just as I am. If this resonates with you, keep reading. Let’s chat about what’s helped me silence that self-doubt. Step 1: Acknowledge the Noise The first thing I’ve learnt is that trying to fight imposter syndrome is like arguing with a toddler—it only makes things worse. Instead, I’ve started acknowledging those thoughts for what they are: just thoughts. They don’t have any power unless I give them power. When that inner critic pipes up, I literally say to myself, “Okay, I hear you, but you’re not in charge.” It sounds silly, I know, but it works. Step 2: Reconnect with My Why Wh...

In our fast-paced world, the Japanese concept of Yutori (ゆとり) reminds us how important it is to create space in our lives. Yutori is about finding balance and staying calm by intentionally making room in our schedules, minds, and surroundings. What Does Yutori Mean? At its heart, Yutori translates to "margin" or "leeway." It’s the practice of leaving a little extra — whether it’s time, energy, or space — to keep life from feeling too cramped. This mindful approach to life counters the constant busyness of modern times, creating space for rest, reflection, and connection. The Philosophy Behind Yutori Yutori isn’t just about doing less; it’s about being intentional and mindful. Life becomes richer when we allow for buffers rather than cramming every moment or space to the brim. This philosophy extends to many areas of life: 1. Time Incorporating Yutori into your schedule means leaving gaps between tasks or appointments. These pauses give you time for unexpected delays...

  When was the last time you allowed yourself to truly be vulnerable? Not the "oops, I forgot to mute myself on Zoom" kind of vulnerable, but the deep, soul-revealing type. The moment when you admit, either to yourself or someone else, that you don’t have everything perfectly together. Let’s face it: vulnerability has a bad reputation. We’re conditioned to see it as weakness. Society encourages us to "stay strong," "keep it together," and "never let them see you sweat." But here’s the truth—real strength lies not in pretending to be invincible, but in embracing your imperfections and recognising your inherent worth, even when life gets messy. The Myth of Perfection For many of us, perfection has long been presented as the ultimate goal. Whether it was achieving top marks in school, being the perfect friend or sibling, or following life’s script to the letter, the message was always clear: don’t make mistakes, and if you do, make sure no one find...

Happy New Year, everyone! It’s that time again—new year, fresh goals, and perhaps the odd existential crisis. Just me? No? Well, this year, instead of committing to the usual resolutions like eating healthier, exercising more, or finally tackling that stack of unread books, I’ve chosen something refreshingly simple, oddly liberating, and slightly cheeky: Let Them. Now, let’s be clear—this isn’t about passively surrendering to others or rolling over for anyone. Far from it. Instead, it’s a practice of stepping back from the exhausting urge to control what others do, say, or think. What Does "Let Them" Actually Mean? Imagine this: you’re in a meeting, mid-sentence, and someone interrupts, steals your idea, and then butchers it. Instead of letting frustration consume you, you think, “Let them. Let them make a fool of themselves.” Or, your perpetually flaky friend cancels plans at the last minute—again. Instead of resenting them, you shrug and think, “Let them flake. More time fo...

Raise your hand if you've ever spent 45 minutes formatting a document that should’ve taken five. Or if you've agonised over crafting the perfect email, only to hit send and realise, oops, typo. Welcome to the club—you might be a perfectionist. And while that drive for flawlessness sounds admirable, it’s productivity’s ultimate buzzkill. The Oil and Water Dilemma Picture this: productivity is water, fluid and adaptable. Perfectionism is oil, thick and unyielding. Together? A recipe for stagnation. When perfectionism takes the reins, it convinces you that unless you have the perfect plan, you shouldn’t start. Productivity, meanwhile, just wants to get things done. The result? Your to-do list is stuck at square one while you’re obsessing over whether your bullet points should be circles instead. The Myth of Perfect Here’s the thing: perfection doesn’t exist. It’s like chasing a unicorn—you can dream about it, but you’ll never actually catch it. And while you’re busy hunting for my...

Over the last few days, I’ve been thinking about what I want to achieve in 2025. Be more mindful. Eat healthier. Start intermittent fasting. Write more. Read more. Study towards becoming a mental wellness coach. Be a better teacher. Feel more comfortable in my own skin while working on my fitness. But here’s the thing: I’m waiting for Wednesday to start. When I eat a chocolate, I tell myself, “Better eat this now, because from Wednesday, there’s nothing.” Deep down, I know this isn’t the right mindset. So what is? Why Waiting for ‘The Right Time’ Doesn’t Work Like many of us, I’ve fallen into the trap of believing that change needs a grand starting point—a new year, a new week, or even a specific day like your birthday. It feels tidy, doesn’t it? But this “all or nothing” approach often sets us up for failure. The problem with waiting is that it creates a scarcity mindset: the idea that life will suddenly become restrictive or joyless once you begin. Worse still, it suggests that perfe...

Why Do My Best Intentions Turn Into Coffee and Scrolling? You know the feeling—you go to bed full of ambition, picturing yourself waking up bright and early, sipping water like a health guru, easing into a yoga flow, and journaling with purpose. But when the alarm goes off, reality sets in. Instead of transforming into the morning superstar you envisioned, you grab a cup of coffee and start scrolling through Instagram. What’s going on here? The truth is, this morning battle is all too familiar, and it’s not just about willpower—it’s rooted in psychology and habit. Let’s unpack why coffee and scrolling take over and explore how you can align your intentions with your actions. The Disconnect Between Intentions and Reality At night, we’re reflective and motivated. It’s easy to dream of being a better version of ourselves tomorrow. Psychologists refer to this as “positive projection”—imagining your future self smashing goals gives you a feel-good boost in the present. But when the morning ...

  Yesterday, the skies wore a shroud, A veil of sorrow, heavy and proud. Loneliness hummed, soft yet near, Its echo lingered, sharp and clear. But today, sunlight weaves its way, Through broken shadows of yesterday. Peace whispers where pain had been, A quiet bloom that grows within. Each tear that fell became a seed, Pain nurturing beauty’s creed. Now I breathe, with calm inside, Grateful for the ebbing tide. Life unfolds like the ocean's sway, Grief and joy carving its way. Yesterday's shadows softly wane, Leaving the lessons, keeping the gain.