When the Wounds Are Invisible

 


Understanding the Impact of Emotional Abuse

We often associate the word “abuse” with what we can see — bruises, scars, broken bones. Things that show. Things that can be explained.

But what about the wounds no one sees?

What about the damage caused by words that cut deeper than a slap ever could? By silence that screams louder than any raised voice?

This is emotional abuse. And for so many of us, it goes unnoticed — even by the person living through it.

“It’s not that bad…” — Except it is

Emotional abuse is sneaky. It doesn’t always shout. Sometimes, it whispers just loud enough to make you question your own voice.

It might look like:

  • Constant criticism disguised as “jokes”
  • Being blamed for everything that goes wrong
  • Feeling like you’re walking on eggshells
  • Being ignored or given the silent treatment
  • Being made to feel like you’re “too sensitive” or “overreacting”

And the worst part? It builds slowly. So slowly that by the time you realise something’s wrong, you’re already doubting whether it’s real. Whether you’re real.

Let me say this, from someone who knows that space all too well: It is real. And it matters.

Invisible wounds, very real impact

The scars of emotional abuse don’t show on the outside — but they run deep.

You start apologising for everything. You second-guess every choice. You stop trusting your own voice. You mould yourself into someone quieter, smaller, easier to love.

But that’s not love. That’s survival. And you were never meant to live your life in survival mode.

So how do we begin to heal?

It starts with honesty. With naming the truth, even if it shakes.

Then gently — painfully, beautifully — we start to come home to ourselves.
Healing isn’t linear, and it’s rarely pretty. But it’s real.

Sometimes it looks like:

  • Saying “no” for the first time and meaning it
  • Not chasing people who make you feel hard to love
  • Sitting in silence without fearing what will rise
  • Holding your own hand when no one else shows up
  • Learning to trust your gut again

There’s no quick fix. But there is a way forward. And I say this as someone who’s walked through the wreckage and still keeps choosing to rise.

A gentle reminder, from me to you:

You don’t need a bruise to justify your pain.
You don’t need to prove that someone hurt you.
You don’t need permission to choose peace.

You deserve love that doesn’t hurt.
You deserve to feel safe in your own skin.
You deserve to take up space — whole, wounded, healing and all.

If no one’s told you lately: I see you. I get it. And you’re not alone.


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