The Constant Need to Be Acknowledged and Seen

For as long as I can remember, I’ve wrestled with this deep, aching need to feel acknowledged. It’s not just about being noticed—it’s about feeling like I matter, like I’m enough. And honestly? This need has shaped so much of who I am. Even now, it’s something I fight with almost every single day.

When I was younger, excelling at school became my way of standing out. Top marks, shiny trophies, and glowing feedback—that was my language. That was how I screamed, “Look at me! I’m here. I’m worthy!” And yes, in those fleeting moments, it felt good. But the high never lasted. Before I knew it, the emptiness was back, and I was already chasing the next award, the next moment of recognition.


The Exhaustion of Proving Myself

I won’t lie—chasing validation is exhausting. It’s like being on a treadmill that never, ever stops. You keep running, hoping that maybe this time, the applause will last. Maybe this time, someone’s words of praise will finally make you feel complete. But it never does. It’s like trying to hold onto smoke—it’s always slipping through your fingers.

Over the years, I’ve realised how much this constant need has stolen from me. It’s affected how I make decisions, how I view myself, and even how I show up in relationships. It’s hard to admit, but so much of my worth has been tied to how others see me. And that’s a fight I face every single day—learning to stop measuring my value through someone else’s eyes and to find it within myself instead.


Getting to the Root of It All

After a lot of soul-searching and some tough truths, I’ve come to understand where this all comes from. For me, it’s tied to this deep-seated belief that I wasn’t good enough as I was. That I had to earn my place in the world by being perfect, by being seen, by proving myself over and over again.

That belief didn’t just pop up out of nowhere. Like so many of us, I internalised it from moments where I felt overlooked or dismissed, where I learnt that being noticed was the same as being valued.

But here’s a truth I’m still trying to fully accept: no amount of external validation can ever fill that void inside. No round of applause, no award, no compliment will ever be enough to convince me of my worth if I can’t see it for myself.


Learning to Validate Myself

I won’t pretend that I’ve got this all figured out—because I don’t. Some days, the need for validation still feels so overwhelming. I catch myself craving that “well done” or hoping someone will notice my effort. But now, I try to pause and ask myself: Why does their acknowledgement matter so much? Can’t I give myself the validation I’m so desperately seeking from them?

It’s not easy, but I’m trying. I’m learning to celebrate my own growth, to value my own journey—even when no one else claps for me. It’s not about proving myself anymore. It’s about seeing myself for who I am, flaws and all, and learning to be okay with that.


To Anyone Who Feels the Same

If you’ve ever felt like you’re stuck in this endless cycle of chasing recognition, I need you to know—you’re not alone. I’m still figuring it out too. But here’s what I’m starting to believe: you don’t have to prove your worth to anyone. You are enough. Even on those days when it doesn’t feel like it, you are.

Life can be loud, and it often feels like the people who shout the loudest get all the attention. But the most important validation doesn’t come from out there. It comes from within you.

So let’s keep trying, hey? Let’s take a moment to acknowledge ourselves—the hard work we’ve put in, the strength we’ve shown, the growth we’ve achieved. Some days will be harder than others, but we’re in this together. And maybe, just maybe, we’ll come to realise that we’ve been enough all along.

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