People Are Not Entitled to Your Trauma

I recently read something that struck a deep, personal chord in me. In her powerful book I Will Not Be Silenced, journalist Karyn Maughan quotes her late friend, Eusebius McKaiser, who once said during a particularly difficult time: "People are not entitled to your trauma."

Those words hit me like a lightning bolt—so simple, yet so profound.

How often do we feel obligated to explain ourselves? To relive painful moments just to justify who we are or why we act the way we do? Whether it’s a friend, a stranger, or society at large, there’s a subtle expectation that we owe others a peek into our suffering—our story—on their terms.

But we don’t.

Your trauma is not a public property. It’s not something anyone is entitled to dissect, minimise, or judge. Sharing your pain is deeply personal. It’s your choice—when, how, and with whom. And sometimes, protecting your peace means keeping parts of your story to yourself.

For me, McKaiser’s words stirred a kind of "motivated anger"—the good kind. The kind that reminds us to reclaim ownership of our narratives. Because our healing doesn’t require anyone else’s permission or validation.

I know the thoughts I had about these words are not necessarily what McKaiser meant when he said them but this is what they brought up in me. 

The next time you feel pressured to explain your pain or revisit a chapter of your life that still aches, remind yourself: No one is entitled to your trauma. It’s yours to carry, process, and heal in your own time, in your own way.

P.S. If you haven't read this incredible book by Karyn Maughan you should! I'm in awe of the woman she is. 

Let that truth be your power.