The Daily Fight to Feel Enough

 


It’s always the small things that tip me over.
A cancelled visit.
An unanswered text.
Something that shouldn’t matter so much, but somehow… it does. It really does.

Suddenly, I’m not just disappointed—I’m spiralling.

The voice in my head wastes no time.
See? You’re not a priority.
People always leave.
You care too much.
You’re too much.
Or worse: You’re not enough.

I try to quiet it. Try to reason with myself. Tell myself it’s not personal, that they’re busy, tired, caught up in life. But the damage is done. That tiny crack becomes a storm, and I feel myself losing footing.

It’s not coming from nowhere.

There were times when silence meant punishment. When cancelled plans meant I’d done something wrong. When the lack of response felt deliberate. Cold. Designed to teach me a lesson.

That kind of trauma doesn’t just vanish. It lingers in the nervous system, in the body’s quiet reactions, in the way I brace myself for rejection—even when no harm is intended.

So yes, it’s “just” a cancelled visit. “Just” a message left on read. But to my body? It feels like abandonment.
To my mind? It feels like confirmation.
And I hate that. I hate how quickly I unravel. How fragile I feel in those moments. How the fear that I’m forgettable creeps in and sits beside me like an old, familiar ghost.

But I’m learning.

Learning that I can hold both truths at once:
That yes, the silence hurts—and no, it doesn’t mean I’m unworthy.
That yes, I feel triggered—and no, I don’t have to stay there.

This is the daily fight. Not to be “fine” all the time, but to be real.
To admit that healing is messy.
To admit that my reactions don’t make me dramatic—they make me human.
To remind myself that someone else’s distance does not define my worth.

Take-Home Practice: When Silence Feels Like Rejection

  1. Acknowledge the trigger – Say it plainly: “That cancelled visit or unanswered text is affecting me deeply.”
  2. Validate your response – This isn’t overreacting. It’s a trauma response. Treat it with tenderness.
  3. Pause and breathe – Box breathing can help calm the spiral: inhale 4, hold 4, exhale 4, hold 4.
  4. Check the narrative – Is your mind making up a story about being unwanted or forgotten? Question it gently.
  5. Return to truth – “I am safe. I am enough. I am not defined by someone else’s silence.”
  6. Do one grounding act – Stretch. Sip tea. Journal. Text someone who always replies. Choose love—for yourself.

Some days, the fight is louder. The voice is crueler. The pain is sharper. But I am still here. Still learning to anchor myself in truth, not trauma. Still showing up—for me.

And if you’re in that space today, feeling discarded or invisible—please hear this:

You are not overreacting.
You are not broken.
You are allowed to need care.
And you are already enough.


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