Mindfulness Practice

Have you ever noticed how quick we are to label things? We humans love a good category. Whether it’s “black with white stripes” or “white with black stripes,” we slap a label on it and call it a day. But then along comes this zebra in the poem “Zebra Question,” and suddenly, it’s us under the microscope. The kid innocently asks, “Are you black with white stripes, or white with black stripes?” And the zebra, probably bored out of its stripey little mind, fires back with a series of deeply philosophical riddles: “Are you good with bad habits, or bad with good habits? Are you neat with some sloppy ways, or sloppy with some neat ways?” And just like that, the tables turn. The label-maker becomes the labelled. Labels, Labels Everywhere Let’s face it, we love to label people. You’re either the “early bird” or the “night owl,” the “messy creative” or the “type-A perfectionist.” But life—and people—aren’t that simple. I mean, who hasn’t had a neat freak moment while simultaneously leaving thei...

For as long as I can remember, I’ve wrestled with this deep, aching need to feel acknowledged. It’s not just about being noticed—it’s about feeling like I matter, like I’m enough. And honestly? This need has shaped so much of who I am. Even now, it’s something I fight with almost every single day. When I was younger, excelling at school became my way of standing out. Top marks, shiny trophies, and glowing feedback—that was my language. That was how I screamed, “Look at me! I’m here. I’m worthy!” And yes, in those fleeting moments, it felt good. But the high never lasted. Before I knew it, the emptiness was back, and I was already chasing the next award, the next moment of recognition. The Exhaustion of Proving Myself I won’t lie—chasing validation is exhausting. It’s like being on a treadmill that never, ever stops. You keep running, hoping that maybe this time, the applause will last. Maybe this time, someone’s words of praise will finally make you feel complete. But it never does. It...

Let’s talk about a new buzzword making waves: glimmers. It’s the softer, more optimistic cousin of triggers. You know, those things that set you off and send you straight to fight-or-flight mode? Glimmers, on the other hand, are all about the good vibes – those small, everyday moments that make you feel calm, safe, or just plain chuffed. What Are Glimmers, Exactly? The term was coined by Deb Dana, a clever clinician specialising in polyvagal theory (fancy science stuff about your nervous system). Glimmers are those fleeting moments of joy or connection – like the smell of a braai wafting through the air, the warmth of the sun on your skin, or even hearing your favourite song on the radio. They’re like mini pick-me-ups for your soul. The Science-y Bit While triggers send your nervous system into overdrive (hello, cortisol!), glimmers work the opposite way. They tap into your parasympathetic nervous system – the one that helps you chill out and feel lekker. When you notice glimmers, you’...

Let’s be real—imposter syndrome is a tricky one. It sneaks in when you’re trying to do something amazing and whispers in your ear, “You don’t belong here,” or worse, “You’re going to mess it up.” Sound familiar? It’s something I’ve had to deal with many times, and for the longest time, I let it get the better of me. But over the years, I’ve found a few ways to calm my mind and remind myself that I am enough, just as I am. If this resonates with you, keep reading. Let’s chat about what’s helped me silence that self-doubt. Step 1: Acknowledge the Noise The first thing I’ve learnt is that trying to fight imposter syndrome is like arguing with a toddler—it only makes things worse. Instead, I’ve started acknowledging those thoughts for what they are: just thoughts. They don’t have any power unless I give them power. When that inner critic pipes up, I literally say to myself, “Okay, I hear you, but you’re not in charge.” It sounds silly, I know, but it works. Step 2: Reconnect with My Why Wh...

In our fast-paced world, the Japanese concept of Yutori (ゆとり) reminds us how important it is to create space in our lives. Yutori is about finding balance and staying calm by intentionally making room in our schedules, minds, and surroundings. What Does Yutori Mean? At its heart, Yutori translates to "margin" or "leeway." It’s the practice of leaving a little extra — whether it’s time, energy, or space — to keep life from feeling too cramped. This mindful approach to life counters the constant busyness of modern times, creating space for rest, reflection, and connection. The Philosophy Behind Yutori Yutori isn’t just about doing less; it’s about being intentional and mindful. Life becomes richer when we allow for buffers rather than cramming every moment or space to the brim. This philosophy extends to many areas of life: 1. Time Incorporating Yutori into your schedule means leaving gaps between tasks or appointments. These pauses give you time for unexpected delays...

I’ve been sitting with this ache in my chest, trying to find the right words, but I don’t think there’s a perfect way to say this. So here it is: I’m sorry. I’m sorry for the way my insecurities sometimes take over and make me crave more attention than I should. For needing constant reassurance, even when I know it’s not fair to ask. It’s not because I don’t believe in my worth—it’s because, deep down, I’m still learning how to. I hate that my neediness can feel overwhelming, that it might make me seem selfish or too much. It’s something I’m painfully aware of, and it’s exhausting to carry. The fear of being forgotten or not being enough is something I’ve battled for as long as I can remember. I know these feelings don’t come from others but from inside me—old wounds and scars that I thought I’d moved past but still find myself carrying. They whisper lies, telling me that I have to do more, be more, demand more, or else I’ll be left behind. And sometimes, I let those whispers control m...

  When was the last time you allowed yourself to truly be vulnerable? Not the "oops, I forgot to mute myself on Zoom" kind of vulnerable, but the deep, soul-revealing type. The moment when you admit, either to yourself or someone else, that you don’t have everything perfectly together. Let’s face it: vulnerability has a bad reputation. We’re conditioned to see it as weakness. Society encourages us to "stay strong," "keep it together," and "never let them see you sweat." But here’s the truth—real strength lies not in pretending to be invincible, but in embracing your imperfections and recognising your inherent worth, even when life gets messy. The Myth of Perfection For many of us, perfection has long been presented as the ultimate goal. Whether it was achieving top marks in school, being the perfect friend or sibling, or following life’s script to the letter, the message was always clear: don’t make mistakes, and if you do, make sure no one find...

Happy New Year, everyone! It’s that time again—new year, fresh goals, and perhaps the odd existential crisis. Just me? No? Well, this year, instead of committing to the usual resolutions like eating healthier, exercising more, or finally tackling that stack of unread books, I’ve chosen something refreshingly simple, oddly liberating, and slightly cheeky: Let Them. Now, let’s be clear—this isn’t about passively surrendering to others or rolling over for anyone. Far from it. Instead, it’s a practice of stepping back from the exhausting urge to control what others do, say, or think. What Does "Let Them" Actually Mean? Imagine this: you’re in a meeting, mid-sentence, and someone interrupts, steals your idea, and then butchers it. Instead of letting frustration consume you, you think, “Let them. Let them make a fool of themselves.” Or, your perpetually flaky friend cancels plans at the last minute—again. Instead of resenting them, you shrug and think, “Let them flake. More time fo...

We’ve All Been There Moments of frustration, stress, or anger can leave us feeling on edge. While venting might seem like the easiest way to cope, reacting impulsively often leads to regret and strained relationships. So, how do you manage tension constructively? Here are 11 practical and healthy methods to help you stay calm and in control. 1. Tune In to Your Feelings The first step is self-awareness. Suppressing emotions can amplify stress. Pause to identify what you’re feeling—are you angry, anxious, or overwhelmed? By naming your emotions, you gain a sense of control and can address them with clarity. 2. Move Your Body Exercise is a proven stress-buster. Whether it’s a walk, yoga session, or quick household chores, physical activity releases tension and boosts endorphins. Even a short burst of movement can improve your mood significantly. 3. Breathe It Out Stress often disrupts breathing patterns, making them shallow. Restore calm with the 4-7-8 breathing technique: Inhale for 4 se...

Raise your hand if you've ever spent 45 minutes formatting a document that should’ve taken five. Or if you've agonised over crafting the perfect email, only to hit send and realise, oops, typo. Welcome to the club—you might be a perfectionist. And while that drive for flawlessness sounds admirable, it’s productivity’s ultimate buzzkill. The Oil and Water Dilemma Picture this: productivity is water, fluid and adaptable. Perfectionism is oil, thick and unyielding. Together? A recipe for stagnation. When perfectionism takes the reins, it convinces you that unless you have the perfect plan, you shouldn’t start. Productivity, meanwhile, just wants to get things done. The result? Your to-do list is stuck at square one while you’re obsessing over whether your bullet points should be circles instead. The Myth of Perfect Here’s the thing: perfection doesn’t exist. It’s like chasing a unicorn—you can dream about it, but you’ll never actually catch it. And while you’re busy hunting for my...