Self-Isolation

Self-Isolation

Why Do I Self-Isolate?

Let’s face it: self-isolation has become the personality trait I didn’t ask for but somehow ended up owning. Maybe you’re like me. Maybe you’ve canceled plans because suddenly the walls feel like friends. Or maybe you’ve spent 45 minutes debating if you should text “can’t make it” or fake an elaborate illness. Sound familiar? Well, pull up a chair—unless, of course, your chair is already your best friend—and let’s dive into the why behind our self-imposed hermit status.

It’s Not You, It’s Me (But Mostly, It’s You)

Let’s start with the obvious: people are exhausting. Sure, socialising can be fun, but small talk? Torture. I can only fake enthusiasm for “How’s work?” so many times before my brain starts buffering. Then there are the group hangouts where everyone talks at once, and you’re left wondering if you’ve gone temporarily deaf or if the universe is just punishing you for leaving the house.

Plus, let’s not forget the emotional labour of trying to be “on” in social settings. The jokes, the nodding, the remembering everyone’s pet names—it’s a lot. And if you’re like me, your social battery runs out faster than a phone on 1%. By the time I get home, I’m like a drained iPhone: silent, unresponsive, and in dire need of charging.

The Appeal of Me-Time

Why self-isolate? Because solitude feels like a spa day for the soul. There’s no pressure to be funny, no awkward silences to fill, and no need to explain why you still haven’t watched that show everyone loves. When you’re alone, you can truly be yourself—whether that’s binge-watching reality TV or true crime, eating breakfast for dinner, or talking to your dogs.  

And let’s talk about freedom. Want to wear pajamas all day? Go for it. Want to take a nap at 3 p.m.? Who’s stopping you? Solitude is a judgment-free zone where the only thing you have to worry about is whether to start a new book or doom-scroll through your favourite social media app.

Fear of Rejection (AKA Overthinking Level 100)

Self-isolation isn’t always about preference. Sometimes, it’s about fear—specifically, the fear of rejection. Even if you know your friends like you, there’s a little voice in your head whispering, “What if they don’t really want you there?” That voice is annoying, yes, but also surprisingly convincing. So, instead of risking awkwardness or potential rejection, you just don’t show up. Problem solved, right? Well, not exactly.

Because here’s the irony: self-isolation often leads to loneliness, which makes you crave connection, which makes you overthink about reconnecting, which leads to… more self-isolation. It’s the vicious circle of modern adulthood, and we’re all trapped in it like confused hamsters on a wheel.

Socializing in the Age of “I’m Busy”

Let’s not ignore how modern life plays into this. Everyone’s schedules are jam-packed with work, hobbies, and an alarming amount of Netflix. Coordinating a hangout feels like planning a summit between world leaders. And honestly, the phrase “I’m busy” has become the polite way of saying “I’d rather not.”

Even texting back feels like an Olympic sport some days. You see a message, think, I’ll reply later when I have the energy, and suddenly it’s been two weeks. Cue guilt. Cue anxiety. Cue self-isolation because now it feels too awkward to respond.

Breaking the Cycle (Maybe)

So, why do we self-isolate? It’s a cocktail of exhaustion, fear, and the undeniable comfort of our own company. But here’s the twist: self-isolation isn’t all bad. It can be restorative and necessary—until it starts feeling more like avoidance than self-care.

The key is balance. Maybe try saying yes to one plan out of three, or schedule a low-key hangout that doesn’t require you to put on real pants. And if you do cancel? Remember that it’s okay. Just don’t let guilt trap you in a cycle of permanent hermitdom.

At the end of the day, self-isolation is like chocolate—great in moderation but unhealthy in excess. So, whether you’re out there socialising or cocooning in your blanket fort, know that you’re not alone (even if you really like being alone).


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