If you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all

My Mom Used to Say, "If You Can't Say Anything Nice, Don't Say Anything at All"

You’ve probably heard it a million times—"If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all." It’s that one piece of parental wisdom that somehow manages to stick with you, even when everything else they said seemed to vanish into the ether. I’m sure most of us remember our moms or dads giving us this little gem at some point, usually after we’d just made an unflattering comment about someone’s questionable haircut or overenthusiastic dance moves at a wedding.

But here's the thing: I’ve realized over time that my mom wasn’t just trying to shut me up. (Although, let’s be honest, that was part of it.) This saying is a whole philosophy, one that I wish more people would take to heart—especially on the internet.

The Power of Silence (Or, Why I Don't Need to Comment on Everything)

At first, I thought it was just about being polite, like some kind of boring etiquette rule to avoid embarrassing someone. "Don’t say anything mean about Gran's disgusting mac 'n cheese." Got it. But as I got older, I started to realize there’s a lot more to it.

Our words are kind of like toothpaste—once you squeeze them out, you can’t put them back in. And let’s face it, who hasn’t accidentally said something snarky that they instantly regretted? (Looking at you, 2002 me, when I told my friend that her dress "looked like a tent.") The point is, sometimes it’s just better to zip it and save everyone the drama.

Now, I'm not saying you should become a mute hermit, never offering an opinion. But the real trick is knowing when to speak and when to just… not. There's a time and place for giving your honest, well-thought-out feedback, and then there’s the time when keeping quiet is your best option.

Social Media? More Like "Social Minefield"

Let’s talk about social media for a second. Ah, the modern-day battleground where every opinion is a potential landmine and everyone seems to have an unsolicited hot take. It’s easy to get sucked into the digital vortex and fire off that “I can’t believe this person said that!” comment or share that article that makes you want to scream into the void. But guess what? Not everything needs your two cents.

My mom’s advice is like a "pause" button for social media rage. Just because you can say something, doesn’t mean you should. When in doubt, ask yourself: “Will this comment make the world a better place, or will it just add to the noise?” If the answer is the latter, maybe just hit that "like" button and move on. Or better yet, scroll past and save your snark for a meme group chat later.

Let’s Talk Empathy (Because Who Needs Drama?)

There’s a delicate art to being honest without being a jerk. Sure, sometimes you’ve got to lay down the truth, but there’s a way to do it that’s not, well, soul-crushing. For instance, telling your friend, “You look tired” isn’t helpful. But you could say, “Hey, you’ve been working a lot lately—want to grab coffee and chat?” Same idea, but way less likely to get you smacked with a pillow in the face.

If I’ve learned anything from this saying, it’s that empathy is key. And, honestly, it’s not that hard to be nice. Sure, some people make it a challenge (we’ve all met them), but it doesn’t cost anything to be kind, and you’ll probably feel better about it in the end.

The Ripple Effect of Kindness

The best part? Kindness is contagious. When you choose not to say something mean, it’s like you're sprinkling some good vibes into the world. And let’s be real—there’s enough negativity floating around out there. So, when you speak thoughtfully, it inspires others to do the same. It’s like a social chain reaction, but with compliments instead of criticism.

The Bottom Line: Less Yelling, More Smiling

To sum it up: My mom’s advice may have seemed like a way to get me to stop talking at the dinner table (I was pretty chatty), but it’s actually a pretty solid life rule. The next time you’re about to unleash your inner sass machine on someone’s questionable fashion choice or a cringe-worthy Facebook post, take a moment. Ask yourself: Is it necessary? Is it kind? And if you can’t honestly say yes to both, maybe just keep the snark to yourself.

Because sometimes, silence is the best kind of noise you can make. And if nothing else, you’ll save yourself from having to explain why you said something you didn’t mean. Trust me, it’s worth it.